In Nabeel Qureshi’s book, “Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus”, Nabeel records a very positive childhood. His parents created strict but loving boundaries, conservative morals and obedient behaviour were taught and expected, and he was trained from an early age to memorise the Koran and Islamic history. It was only as he became an adult, and began to question the foundations of his thinking, that he saw what was the backbone that sustained the community he enjoyed.
He realised that to be a Muslim meant un-questioningly accepting human authority. From an early age he had imbued the idea that it is absolutely forbidden to question, even in one’s heart, Mohammed’s character or authority as God’s prophet. This fundamental idea filtered down into the everyday life of a Muslim, and meant that it was fear, coupled with pride in a shared identity, which glued his community together.
This did not mean fear and pride were consciously experienced at all times or by all members of the community. Many children and adults within his community experienced the happiness of human friendship, love and help in times of need. However this fruit was only able to grow because it was supported by the trellis of human religion. When conflicts arose, those in authority made others submit to them out of guilt and fear. Fear of being cut off from the community, fear of public shame, fear of God’s judgment. Nabeel witnessed this when his cousin was found to be dating a non-Muslim. Extended family members gathered together and used verbal and emotional force to make her submit to their will. And of course we know about other Muslim communities where physical violence is used.
This sounds an extreme example, but it highlights a basic human temptation we all face. It is the temptation to establish our will through human means. Human effort is self-reliant and dependent upon the resources immediately available to us (our words and actions).
This means we cannot judge those Muslims as worse than ourselves simply because we use more subtle forms of asserting our will over others. For some of us, it may be more likely the case that we aren’t successful in having our will followed by others. Then our hearts become angry, and bitterness and resentment build up. The human heart is the wellspring of all kinds of evil, and just because I haven’t physically killed anyone doesn’t mean I’m not guilty of murder. Just because I am not addicted to pornography, doesn’t mean I am not in more subtle bondage to other forms of sensuality. In every human heart there exists the potential for the expression of every heinous sin.
Probably the most subtle and dangerous expression of human wisdom is when we conflate our will with God’s will, and then use human ideas to bring about what we believe God wants. This comes directly from Satan, seen clearly when Peter began rebuking Jesus for teaching the disciples that he, as God’s promised Christ, needed to suffer and die. Peter was utterly convinced that God’s will was for Jesus to use human strength to establish his kingdom (Mark 8:33). When the religious leaders crucified our Lord they sincerely believed they were doing what God wanted. Jesus told his disciples to expect that religious leaders would exclude them from their communities and even kill them, while simultaneously believing they were serving God (John 16:2).
How can we know then, whether a community is built upon human effort, or upon Christ and God’s wisdom?
First of all, a distinctively Christian community is only in existence because of God’s saving work. It is birthed because of the truth of the gospel received with full conviction and the power of the Holy Spirit (1 Thessalonians 1:5). There is no ground for pride in human ambition or achievement as we know these have been made nothing by the cross (1 Corinthians 1:28-29). Because of God’s great kindness and our great unworthiness, this means members of a Christian community walk in humility and gentleness towards one another (Ephesians 4:1-2) and we are always eager to maintain unity amongst ourselves for the glory of God (Romans 15:5-6). Jesus said that his disciples would be marked as different because of their love for one another (John 13:35).
It is easy to say but much harder to do. I know in my life I have hurt others by acting in unloving ways, while simultaneously believing I was following God’s will. Only the truth of God’s word saves me from this lie. God has also been kind in giving me circumstances and people who have not been afraid to tell me how my actions have hurt them. Understanding what love really looks like has helped me so much. I’ve learnt from 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 that I gain nothing by understanding all knowledge yet acting without love. I’ve been guilty of believing I know what is best for someone, and yet using forceful means (my words and the power of my relationship) to “make them see the truth”. In essence, that’s me stepping into the place of the Holy Spirit. Because of mistakes I’ve made in the past, I no longer assume that I will automatically act in a loving way, just because I am a Christian.
At the heart of becoming and growing as a Christian is repentance of sin and faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus. We do this individually and we do this together. What makes a Christian community truly unique is that its members are knit together not by pride in a shared identity, but by the humility which comes from walking in the life-giving paradox that we are simultaneously deeply imperfect yet perfectly loved. The knowledge that we are unconditionally loved by God, and by one another, breathes grace and freedom into our relationships with each other. We are freed from bondage to fear that we might not be seen as good enough, or seen as different, or viewed as just ‘too much’. We are freed to be vulnerable about our weaknesses and fears and failings, confident that we will not experience judgment but instead acceptance and love. Because we believe in our hearts that we have been freed from the bondage of striving to be good enough for God, as a community we are freed from the bondage of striving to be good enough for one another.
Yes Jesus says that his disciples will be known by their love for one another, but that doesn’t mean we always do it well. And when we don’t it’s what happens next that shows whether we are a true Christian community or merely faking it.
When we fail to love, what do we do?
Do we sweep it under the carpet and pretend it never happened while secretly nursing a hurt? Or do we deliberately make an effort to form charitable excuses for the person, so we can overlook the offense and unreservedly forgive them without their ever knowing?
Perhaps a hurt is too troubling to sweep under the carpet, so do we put up barriers and distance ourselves? Or instead do we approach them with gentleness and humility to explain how they hurt us in order to achieve understanding and reconciliation?
And if a hurt is so great that we don’t know what to do, do we cut the other person off entirely? Or do we seek wise counsel and mediation, doing whatever we can to establish peace?
The distinguishing mark of a truly Christian community is not that the members always behave perfectly. It’s true mark is that together they walk in repentance, humility and forgiveness towards one another.
The type of love they have for one another is not merely a natural human affection that comes from shared experiences or backgrounds. That kind of love can be depleted by hurts and failures. The love they have is an overflowing supernatural love fuelled by God’s unconditional love. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t depend on how we are treated by others. It’s love that shows grace and kindness to all, even when the other person doesn’t deserve it.
A community that is built upon human wisdom and effort will always display cracks. These might be hidden for a time, but they will eventually show. Anything not founded upon the truth of God’s word will one day crumble (2 Cor 4:2, 1 Cor 3:12-15).
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
Philippians 1:3-11
