Listen to an 8 minute audio version here
When an older toddler is allowed to hold a new baby, you’re almost guaranteed to hear someone repeat the instruction to be gentle - "Gentle hands, gentle with his head!" Rough toddlers don’t comprehend their own power to do harm.
Spiritually we are not much different to toddlers around newborns, so it’s not surprising our fathers in the faith command us to be gentle in our treatment of one another (1).
In ‘The Message’ Bible paraphrase it describes the fruit of gentleness as “not needing to force our way in life” (2).
I find that humanly impossible. I know from everyday experience that my natural instinct will always find strong justification for forcing my way when I am annoyed, offended, worried or hurt (3). I force my way through words, tears, looks or even sighs. But despite how right it feels at the time, doing so means I’m being led by the flesh (4). Becoming gentle requires that I lean hard into the truth of God’s word, because my own wisdom will never make sense of it (5) .
Where else is gentleness in the bible, or meekness, as the word is also translated (6)? Jesus said of himself that he is "gentle and lowly in heart" (7). And he tells us that the "meek will inherit the earth" (8). So to be meek or gentle, is to be like Jesus. If my heart is not gentle, then my life will not be capable of producing the fruit of gentleness (9).
Having a gentle, or lowly and humble, heart, is the only way I can grow in holiness, that is, experience the power of the Holy Spirit to change my life. God only lives in the hearts of the lowly (10). Francis Schaeffer put it this way, saying “to the extent that we do not humble ourselves, there will be no power of the Holy Spirit in our lives” (11).
I didn’t always understand this. I thought if I simply admitted I was a sinner and asked God to forgive me through Jesus then I was good with God, and ok to go off following my own thoughts in whichever direction seemed good to me. I imagined that I was automatically living with Jesus as Lord because I said a prayer and went to church and Bible study every week. But I was deceived. My mind was not humble. I persistently elevated myself over others in judgement. If I had paid more careful attention to the word of God, instead of skimming over the surface of passages, thinking I understood them, I would have seen my proud condition perfectly exposed (12). I assumed I knew what God wanted for me and for other people.
I made the dreadful error of believing that my natural inclinations lined up with God’s will.
This was because my confidence rested not in Christ, but in finding the approval of man. My deepest craving was not for the word of God, but for human acceptance and glory. I see quite clearly now why I did not experience the power of the Holy Spirit. Instead of overflowing with love, joy and peace, my heart was full of slander, jealousy and discontent. I thought I had to work for my happiness; I didn’t realise joy was the gift of God to the humble surrendered heart. As was my joy, so was my gentleness - absent.
A gentle meek heart has turned away from following natural human wisdom and instead, eagerly desires to go about life depending on God’s wisdom (13). And God’s wisdom, his method of conquering evil, is to use human weakness. Jesus won the most triumphant victory of eternity not by forcefully asserting himself, but by meekly depending on his Father, and gently allowing his life to be taken (14) .
God promises his children he will act when they pray and wait for him to act (15). But without eyes of faith, praying and waiting feels like doing nothing, and looks like something very weak and passive. It seems like if the devil can’t stop us from acknowledging that Jesus is Lord, he does very best next thing he can - he convinces us that we must act on human wisdom to bring about our Lord’s Kingdom (16).
But the place for force is not outside of me, but inside me as, by the power of the Holy Spirit I crucify, that is, violently murder, the desires of my flesh (17) (18). Then, and only then, will the Spirit of God rule in my heart and powerfully bring forth the fruit of gentleness (19).
Footnotes
1 Ephesians 4:2, Galatians 6:1, 1 Timothy 6:1, 2 Timothy 2:25, 1 Peter 3:15, 1 Timothy 3:3, Titus 3:2, James 3:17
2 Galatians 5:22-23 ‘We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.’ The Message by Eugene Peterson
3 I naturally maximise the faults of others and minimise my own, see Matt 7:1-6. This way of thinking allows me to feel that I am doing the right thing by acting in forceful ways. For insight into this pattern of thinking see https://www.ccef.org/judging-others-danger-playing-god-part-1/
4 2 Timothy 3:1-5, James 1:20, Psalm 37:8, Proverbs 29:11, Ephesians 4:31, Matthew 5:21-22
5 Proverbs 3:7-8, Psalm 119:9-11
6 In James 1:21, James 3:13 (ESV) the same word is translated ‘meekness’. The KJV uses ‘meekness’ instead of gentleness in Galatians 5:23
7 Matthew 11:29
8 Matthew 5:5. See also Psalm 37
9 Luke 6:43, Matthew 12:33, Matthew 7:18, Luke 6:45
10 Isaiah 57:15
11 Francis A. Schaeffer in "The Lord's Work in the Lord's Way"
12 Luke 18:9-14
13 Psalm 119
14 “Meekness in our Lord was not a weak bearing of evils but a strong forbearance in the presence of evil. It was not so much a fundamental characteristic of a nature constitutionally averse to asserting itself, as a voluntary submission of a strong person bent on an end. Through all his agony his demeanour to his disciples, his enemies, his judges, his executioners in instinct with calm self-mastery. The cup that was put to his lips was bitter; none of it’s bitterness was lost to him as he drank it - but he drank it- and he drank it as his own will (because it was his Fathers will) to drink. It was in this Spirit, not of unwilling subjection to unavoidable evil, but of voluntary endurance of unutterable anguish for adequate ends that he passed into and through all his sufferings.” BB Warfield, in ‘The Emotional Life of Our Lord’
15 Psalm 37:5-7
16 This was Peter’s mistake. See Mark 8:27-33. Notice how Peter's well-intentioned error is pure satanic deception. See also John 18:10
17 Galatians 5:24
18 “True Christian fortitude consists in strength of mind, through grace, exerted in two things; in ruling and suppressing the evil and unruly passions and affections of the mind; and in steadfastly and freely exerting, and following good affections and dispositions, without being hindered by sinful fear, or the opposition of enemies. But the passions that are restrained and kept under, in the exercise of this Christian strength and fortitude, are those very passions that are vigorously and violently exerted in a false boldness for Christ. And those affections that are vigorously exerted in true fortitude, are those Christian, holy affections that are directly contrary to them. Though Christian fortitude appears, in withstanding and counteracting the enemies that are without us; yet it much more appears, in resisting and suppressing the enemies that are within us; because they are our worst and strongest enemies, and have greatest advantage against us. The strength of the good soldier of Jesus Christ appears in nothing more, than in steadfastly maintaining the holy calm, meekness, sweetness, and benevolence of his mind, amidst all the storms, injuries, strange behavior, and surprising acts and events of this evil and unreasonable world. The Scripture seems to intimate that true fortitude consists chiefly in this: Prov. xvi. 32, “He that is slow to anger, is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh a city.” Jonathan Edwards, in ‘The Religious Affections’
19 Galatians 5:16-25
